Christmas Dad Jokes

Elf’s Performance Review An elf was called into Santa’s office for a performance review. Santa said, “You’ve been great, but you’ve been a bit behind on your toy quotas.” The…

Christmas Tree Shopping I went Christmas tree shopping with my wife. She picked a tree and asked, “What do you think?” I said, “It’s nice, but it’s leaning to the…

Reindeer Troubles Dasher and Dancer were arguing about who was the fastest reindeer. Dasher said, “I’ve always led the sleigh team!” Dancer replied, “Yeah, but I have moves!” Santa walked…

Santa’s New Year’s Resolution Santa decided he needed to lose some weight after Christmas. He joined a gym and started working out with an elf personal trainer. The trainer asked,…

The Gift of Communication Last year, I gave my wife a universal remote for Christmas. She wasn’t impressed. She said, “This is just a way for you to control everything!”…

Christmas Lights Disaster I tried to help my dad put up Christmas lights. He handed me a tangled ball of lights and said, “This will only take a minute.” An…

Elf vs. Technology Why don’t elves ever use smartphones? Because they keep getting stuck on the toy settings screen and accidentally order 1,000 miniature rocking horses instead of sending a…

Santa and the Wi-Fi Santa walks into a coffee shop to check his Naughty or Nice list online. He asks the barista, “What’s the Wi-Fi password?” The barista says, “You…

Elf Therapy An elf went to therapy because he was feeling low. The therapist asked, “What’s wrong?” The elf sighed and said, “I feel like I’m just not present in…

Santa’s Job Application Did you hear about the time Santa applied for a second job? The interviewer asked, “What are your skills?” Santa said, “I’m great at wrapping things up,…