Dark humor jokes

The Worst Roommate A man complains about his roommate to a friend: "He’s so inconsiderate! He left his clothes everywhere, doesn’t clean, and even talks to himself at night!" The…

The Forgetful Patient A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." The patient says, "Give me the bad news first." The doctor replies, "You only have…

The Perfect Crime A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Can I borrow a book on how to commit the perfect crime?" The librarian smiles and…

The Deal with the Devil A man meets the devil, who offers him a deal: "I’ll make you the richest person in the world, but you’ll lose your soul." The…

The Survival Island A plane crashes on a deserted island. Three survivors find a genie lamp. They each get one wish. The first says, "I wish I were home!" and…

The Haunted House A couple buys a house at an incredibly low price. When they move in, the neighbor warns them, "The house is haunted!" The husband laughs and says,…

The Job Interview A man goes to a job interview, and the interviewer asks, "What’s your biggest weakness?" The man replies, "I’m brutally honest." The interviewer says, "I don’t think…

The Perfect Alibi Two friends are sitting in a bar, and one says, "I don’t trust my wife anymore. She’s been acting suspicious." The other friend laughs and says, "What…

A Lesson in Safety A father takes his young son to the park and sees a sign that reads, “Caution: Children at Play.” The son asks, "What does that mean,…

The Genie’s Wish A man stumbles upon a magic lamp, gives it a rub, and out pops a genie. The genie says, "I’ll grant you one wish. Make it count."…