Fucked Up Jokes

The Million-Dollar Question A game show host tells a contestant, “This is the million-dollar question. If you get it wrong, you lose everything!” The contestant nods nervously. The host asks,…

The Mysterious Gift A man receives a beautifully wrapped box in the mail with no return address. Inside, he finds a single piece of paper that reads: Open this box…

The Silent Dinner A man and his wife sit down for dinner. Halfway through, the man says, “I have something to confess.” The wife sets down her fork and says,…

The Misinterpreted Wish A woman finds a genie and is granted three wishes. For her first wish, she says, “I want to be rich!” The genie snaps his fingers, and…

The Darkly Ambitious Butler A rich man hires a butler who is polite, hardworking, and eerily quiet. One day, the man jokingly asks, “If I disappeared, would you miss me?”…

The Skeleton in the Closet A man brags to his friends about how fearless he is. One friend challenges him, saying, “If you’re so brave, spend a night in that…

The Jealous Wife A man and his wife are having dinner at a fancy restaurant. The wife notices her husband staring at another woman. “Who is she?” she asks. “Nobody,”…

The Haunted Doll A little girl brings home an antique doll she finds at a yard sale. Her mother says, “That thing looks cursed. You shouldn’t have bought it.” That…

The Honest Doctor A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up. After some tests, the doctor says, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” The man says, “Give…

The Unexpected Babysitter A couple is desperate for a babysitter and ends up hiring a strange man with no references but a kind smile. When they come back from their…