Funny dad jokes

The Fitness Plans Dad: “Son, I’ve been thinking about getting fit.” Son: “Really? That’s great, Dad. How are you planning on doing that?” Dad: “Well, I’ve devised a new fitness…

The Talking Plant Dad: “I got a new plant for the house today.” Son: “Nice, what kind?” Dad: “It’s a cactus. I thought it would be perfect because it doesn’t…

The Job Interview Dad: “I had an interview for a job at the zoo today.” Son: “Really? What did they ask?” Dad: “They asked, ‘What makes you think you’re fit…

The Classic Lullaby Dad: “Hey, son, do you want to hear the most soothing lullaby I know?” Son: “Sure, Dad.” Dad: Sings “Rock-a-bye, baby, on the treetops…” Son: “Dad, that’s…

The Time Traveler Dad: “You know, I’ve always wanted to be a time traveler.” Son: “Really? Why?” Dad: “Well, imagine all the things I could fix. Like going back and…

The Chicken and the Egg Debate Dad: “You know, this whole chicken and egg debate has been bothering me for years.” Son: “What’s the issue, dad?” Dad: “Well, people always…

The Ice Cream Conundrum One day, I asked my son, “What’s the best part about ice cream?” He answered, “The cone, obviously!” I shook my head, “No, no, no. The…

The Pizza Delivery Guy A dad ordered pizza for dinner and was waiting impatiently for the delivery. Finally, the doorbell rang. He opened the door, and there stood the pizza…

The Talking Dog I was at the park with my dog when I overheard someone say, “That dog looks like it could talk.” So, being a dad, I turned to…

The Pancake Dilemma Why did the pancake break up with the syrup? Well, they were getting along perfectly fine for a while. But every time they went out, the syrup…