Funny dad jokes

The DIY Disaster Dad decides to fix the squeaky kitchen door. Armed with a toolbox, he works on it all morning. By lunchtime, the family hears a loud crash. They…

The New Diet Dad announces, “I’m going on a new diet starting today!” The family asks, “What kind of diet?” He says, “It’s called the ‘See Food Diet.’” The kids…

The Haircut Deal Dad decides to save money by cutting his son’s hair at home. Son says nervously, “Dad, are you sure you can do this?” Dad grins and says,…

The Pet Naming Dilemma The family gets a pet goldfish, and Dad insists on naming it. Mom asks, “What do you want to name it?” Dad proudly says, “I want…

The Coffee Mystery Dad wakes up early, as usual, to make coffee. One morning, he finds the coffee jar empty. He calls out to the family, “Who finished the coffee…

The Family Detective The family sits down for dinner, but Dad notices one slice of pie is missing. Dad: “Alright, who ate the pie?” The kids shake their heads. Mom…

The Knock Knock Conundrum Dad: “Knock, knock.” Kid: “Who’s there?” Dad: “Cargo.” Kid: “Cargo who?” Dad: “Car goes vroom vroom! Get it?” The kid groans. Dad adds, “Oh, wait, there’s…

The Gardening Mishap Dad decides to start a vegetable garden, insisting it will save money. Months later, the garden is thriving, but the family notices they’re still buying vegetables. Mom…

The Free Gym Membership Dad comes home one evening looking exhausted. The family asks, “What happened?” Dad says, “I got a free gym membership today.” Mom asks, “Really? Where?” Dad…

The Master of Directions A dad takes his family on a road trip, and they get hopelessly lost. Mom says, “Why don’t we stop and ask for directions?” Dad replies,…