Funny Dirty Jokes

The Golf Bet A man and his wife go golfing, and she bets him, "If I beat you on this hole, you’re cooking dinner tonight." He agrees confidently but ends…

The Bedtime Talk A wife asks her husband, "Why do you always fall asleep before me?" He replies, "Because I’m dreaming of you already!" She smiles and says, "That’s sweet,…

The Forgetful Chef A man and his wife decide to cook dinner together for date night. The husband says, "Let me chop the onions. I’m a pro at this." The…

The Overly Helpful Friend A guy is telling his friend, "I’ve got a problem. Every time I try to surprise my girlfriend, she figures it out!" His friend suggests, "Try…

The Naughty Librarian A man walks into a library and whispers to the librarian, "Do you have any books on how to make someone fall in love with you?" The…

The Naughty Mechanic A woman brings her car to the mechanic, saying, "It’s making a weird noise when I hit 50 mph." The mechanic takes it for a drive and…

The Honeymoon Plan A couple is planning their honeymoon, and the wife asks, "What’s your dream destination?" The husband replies, "Somewhere warm, romantic, and full of adventure—like the kitchen when…

The Naughty Parrot A man buys a parrot known for its foul mouth. To fix it, he tries polite conversation, playing soothing music, and even a timeout in the freezer.…

The Forgetful Husband A man forgets his wedding anniversary, and his wife is furious. "You better make this up to me!" she snaps. "I want something that goes from 0…

The Farmer’s Donkey A city slicker visits a farm and sees a donkey with a placard that reads: "Most Hardworking Member of the Farm." Curious, he asks the farmer, "Why…