Funny Jokes

Robot’s First Job A robot gets a job as a waiter. When a customer complains about slow service, the robot replies, “Beep-boop. You ordered slow-cooked ribs. I’m just following orders.”…

The Talking Tree A lumberjack discovers a talking tree. Before chopping, the tree pleads, “Wait, I’m a rare species!” The lumberjack pauses. “Rare? Like…what, maple?” “No, I’m an acorn tree…

Alien Stand-Up Comedy Aliens land on Earth and decide to try stand-up comedy. Their opening joke: “What’s the deal with humans and socks? You lose one, and suddenly you’re all…

Cat and the Grocery List A man sends his cat to fetch groceries with a list tied to its collar. An hour later, the cat returns with a bag of…

The Ghost Gym A ghost decides to join a gym to “boost his spirits.” On his first day, he picks up weights and shouts, “This is dead lifting!” Everyone groans.…

The Magical Printer A man buys a printer that claims to “grant wishes.” Skeptical, he prints a page that reads: “Make me rich.” Instantly, his account gets flooded with spam…

Grandpa’s Time Machine A grandpa shows his grandson a dusty box in the attic, claiming it’s a time machine. Intrigued, the boy asks, “How does it work?” Grandpa puts on…

The Library Secret At a library, a man asks the librarian, “Can you help me find a book on how to disappear?” The librarian pauses, then whispers, “Section M, but…

The Elevator Surprise An elevator gets stuck on the 13th floor with three people inside: a clown, a mathematician, and a chicken farmer. After pressing every button, the clown jokes,…

The Lazy Wizard A young wizard named Lazor had a reputation for being incredibly lazy. One day, his teacher asked him to perform a spell to summon a storm. Lazor…