Funny Jokes

The Lost Tourist A tourist is lost in a big city and asks a local, “How do I get to the museum?” The local says, “Easy. Walk two blocks down,…

The Lazy Employee An employee gets caught sleeping at his desk. His boss walks up and says, “Why are you sleeping on the job?” The employee opens one eye and…

The Talking Watch A man buys a new watch that claims to be “voice-activated.” He puts it on and says, “What time is it?” The watch doesn’t respond. He tries…

The Chicken Crossing A chicken walks into a library and goes up to the counter. It says, “Book, book, book!” The librarian hands the chicken three books, and it waddles…

The Magic Mirror A man finds a magic mirror that grants wishes but punishes liars. To use it, he must say a truthful wish. He looks in the mirror and…

The Lawyer’s Parrot A lawyer buys a parrot to keep him company at work. The parrot quickly learns to say, “Objection!” every time the lawyer is on the phone. One…

The Job Interview Gone Wrong A man goes to a job interview, and the interviewer says, “Tell me about yourself.” The man says, “Well, I’m great at multitasking. For example,…

The Cheating Exam A college student is sitting for his final exam. Halfway through, he realizes he doesn’t know the answers. Desperate, he writes on the exam paper: “Dear Professor,…

The Forgetful Professor A college professor is famous for being brilliant but extremely forgetful. One day, his wife tells him, “You’ve got an important conference today. Don’t forget your notes!”…

The Witch’s Ride A witch walks into a car dealership and says, "I need a new broom. This one’s losing its spark." The salesman nods and shows her the latest…