Halloween Jokes

The Haunted House’s Complaint A haunted house files a complaint with its owner. The house says, “I’m tired of being neglected! My cobwebs are sagging, my floors creak louder than…

The Werewolf’s Therapy Group A werewolf joins a support group for creatures with anger issues. During introductions, he says, “I lose control every full moon. I start howling, chasing people,…

The Haunted Tech Support Call A vampire calls tech support, furious. “My computer isn’t working, and I need it fixed immediately!” The technician asks, “What’s the problem?” The vampire growls,…

The Ghost’s Online Dating Experience A ghost decides to try online dating but keeps getting rejected. Frustrated, he asks his friend for advice. The friend says, “Let me see your…

The Mummy’s Airport Security Problem A mummy is at the airport, going through security. The officer says, “Sir, you’ll need to unwrap your bandages.” The mummy groans, “If I do…

The Zombie’s Job Hunt A zombie goes to a job agency and says, “I need work. Something with flexible hours, decent pay, and plenty of… brains.” The agent says, “Well,…

The Witch’s Cooking Disaster A witch decides to open a cooking school for aspiring witches. On the first day, she tells her students, “Today, we’ll make a stew that can…

The Skeleton’s Retirement Plan A skeleton walks into a financial advisor’s office and says, “I need help with my retirement plan. I’ve been working for centuries, and I think it’s…

The Vampire’s Therapy Session A vampire decides to visit a therapist because he feels unmotivated. He says, “I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m tired all the time, I’m…

The Haunted Hotel Stay A man checks into a haunted hotel for the night. The receptionist warns him, “Just so you know, the hotel has a history of strange occurrences.”…